Saturday, March 9, 2013

157 : To blog or not to blog?

In lieu of a geocaching post, this Saturday, I'll be writing a response post instead. This post is in response to THIS POST by my good friend, Steph of The Loudmouth Lifestyle. My post is as much a response to her words as they are to help clear the air.

An unfortunate thing happened yesterday. Steph had an e-mail from me about fashion bloggers, specifically mentioning some of my thoughts on Delightfully Tacky, a VERY popular blogger. Steph had saved the e-mail in order to write a post quoting one part of my e-mail. In error, blogger posted my e-mail, verbatim, with no words from Steph. Unfortunately, due to the vitriol in my e-mail, some of Steph's readers responded very negatively, even e-mailing her equally mean and hurtful words. Though the post has been deleted, it's probably cached forever anyway. Steph wrote an explanatory post where she was VERY diplomatic and didn't call me the total bitch that I am. She reflected on her own views about blogging and her personal struggles. It's a very good post.

Steph said, about blogging : "It's unfortunate that I've never really had the time or energy to give this blog my entire heart and soul; I kinda just squeeze it in whenever and wherever I can, and it ends up on the back burner."

I think this is the most telling of all she writes in the post. When I read that, it really made me think, "Yeah, you shouldn't be blogging. Just let it go." This is kind of my advice to her : If you don't love it, don't do it. I don't think the bloggers who make their living at it started in order to make money. At least, not the fashion and lifestyle bloggers. I think most popular fashion and lifestyle blogs grew from a natural love to share and to write and became a job and an obligation later. But Steph, I think, sort of jumped into both. I know she loves to write, so maybe she started the blog because of that, but it's telling to me that she said, "I've been thinking about quitting blogging, well, pretty much since I started blogging."

This is my second time around in the world of writing online. At first, I had a diaryland diary, and I was popular. If people monetized their blogs back then, I would be a professional blogger now. Back then, diaries were not image heavy, because you had to find a place to pay for image hosting. Back then, a lot of people online wrote just to write. They didn't need to serve an audience and pepper posts with pictures and worry about exciting content. The content was thoughts and emotions and life, and people really grew to love the person behind the blog, because there was no branding. Back then, I wrote out my emotions, in order to help me stabilize them and fit in better in the world. I was well-known and loved. I had a group writing blog that was very popular. But eventually, the world changed and everyone moved on, and I stopped writing.

I began this blog again (and then deleted it and started again) because I LOVED writing online. There's something about an online diary that translates far better for me than a paper diary ever did...which is why my paper diaries never lasted. When I began the blog again, I had hoped to become at least marginally popular. I had to reformat my blog to keep up with the times, and I didn't really like it. I still break the "rules" from time to time. I deleted my blog, read a ton of how-to posts on blogging, and came back in a different manner. And no, I'm not even remotely popular. The lack of comments completely shows my lack of popularity. But I do this because I LOVE IT!!

I LOVE blogging, and I LOVE writing, and I really, really, really love photographing everything I do. I am not embarrassed at photographing my food. I have no issues being in public to get a good photo of my outfit. I don't mind taking extra time geocaching because I photograph EVERY ONE. I don't always have the time for this crazy 365 thing that I'm doing and I backlog posts...but I'm doing it BECAUSE I LOVE BLOGGING and I want to find the topics about which I enjoy writing and the best way to do that. I don't feel the need to "unplug," and I actually hate when people talk about doing that. Documenting my life is an integral part of living my life. I find it insulting when people make fun of blogging and talking about DOING instead of DOCUMENTING, because I do while I document, and I love it.

Which is why I think Steph should stop blogging. If it's not fun, then it's not worth it.

Look, the internet is entertainment. It just is. It's become about information as well, but mainly as entertainment. Sure, you can get your newspaper via the internet, but that's entertainment. The facebook and the hulu and the fox news and whatever...even Wikipedia...it's all entertainment. Information is secondary to this ginormous, time sucking, web of entertainment we've created. So blogging should be fun. Reading and writing should be fun, and life should be enjoyable on every level, so if it isn't, stop doing it.

I'm sad that my friend had to receive hate mail due to my words. I wanted to copy and paste the nasty things I said, but I can't find the cached page any longer. Basically, I just said I visited Delightfully Tacky on a whim and I was tired of seeing the same old crap. I said I wanted to punch her in the face because she just wrote about the same things over and over and over.

I think that's the nastiest bit. It's true, branded bloggers piss me off. But you know, she makes over $400 a month from sponsors alone, and she's wildly popular, so maybe that's ok with her. There are other bloggers, Little Chief Honeybee, and The Dainty Squid, to name my two other least favorite blogs who I feel are more about the brand than the person. I don't read them anymore, because reading them also makes me want to punch them in the face.

Creating a brand, posting specific content to please your readers, going on and on about the same things, creating a fantasy land of ALWAYS being happy and never being even remotely realistic...none of it interests me. I hate posts about "things I love" that just end up being shopping lists. I hate the idea of "wardrobe remixing" because it just smacks of privilege and consumerism. I hate labeling DIYs and recipes as "quick and easy" when they probably aren't so for lots of people. There's a lot in the blogging world that I hate...and when I feel that way, I generally stop reading and I send Steph a nasty e-mail full of totally catty bitchiness and occasional vitriol.

I do this because she is an AMAZING friend who listens and doesn't treat me like I'm a total asshole for saying nasty things. So it's entirely unfair that she bore the brunt of my words, when it's her amazing friendship that allows me the freedom to say whatever I want. So if anyone comes here and finds this post and wants to write some hate mail, put it in the comments or e-mail me : fennablue(at)gmail(dot)com. I welcome your nasty words. But beware, I will give back as much as I get, because I'm just not very nice.

8 comments:

  1. I hopped on over here from Steph's blog and was just curious to see what you had said about Delightfully Tacky. Honestly, this post is a breath of fresh air to me. I don't want to bash any particular blogger, but I've been getting fed up with so many of the popular bloggers lately. It's frustrating seeing the same crappy remix posts and friday favorite things. All of the ladies that originally inspired me to start blogging have become so focused on sponsors and getting free things, that they no longer show any light of who they actually are!
    Kudos for standing behind the accidentally posted email. I'm glad to see some bloggers aren't afraid to speak their mind!
    xo

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  2. This post is honest and wonderful, and the blogging world needs more people like you and Stephanie. Since she's leaving this world, I think you just took over as my favorite blogger! All of the girls who post about their seemingly perfect lives - the DIY, cooking amazing gourmet food, wearing pretty dresses everyday - it doesn't seem real. And it makes me feel like a crazy person for writing about my emotions, as I think it would for other new Bloggers. It's nice to know there are people out there who aren't doing this to portray some kind of image of false perfection to the world.

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  3. @Heather Belle : I have issues with bloggers who receive the vast majority of their wardrobe for free and then write about it as if they went out and bought the items and put them together for a reason other than blogging. I have issues with the constant, upbeat posts that imply a blogger has a perfect life...followed by the quarterly posts whining that everything is not PERFECT. I think these things undermine the already fragile self-esteem of young women and portray an impossible life. I think they make the reader and the blogger feel worse over time and that reality, even a tiny bit, is always better. However, I don't engage in hate-reading, and so when I wise up to the situation, I just stop reading.

    I very much appreciate your comment. Thanks for coming by and gaining a better understanding of the situation that happened! Thanks so much for your support!

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  4. @victoriawriteswords I completely agree! The few fashion bloggers I follow (seen in my right hand column) do have small doses of reality. So far, even though they portray a largely positive image, they show enough cracks to represent some reality. Everyone else is dead to me. I think the branding, constant positivity, and forced content undermine the reality of a feminine world...a world chock full of emotions and everyday struggles (for all sorts of reasons that would make this reply too long). Simply put : I'm just too old for that shit!

    I need reality, and so I write about reality. I'm glad you found me, though I'm sad it's for such an awful accident. Steph is also happy that some readers have come over here! Thanks so much for your support!

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  5. I read Stephanie's accidental post that turned out to be your E-mail and I LOVED it. It was so outspoken and honest and refreshing. Ill see if I can get it off my reader and send it to you.

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  6. Girl you've got balls, and a way with words. I don't follow those bloggers but am aware of them- I like 'em enough I suppose to not want to punch- and I admire your forthright way of owning your words. Steph is good, very good peeps! I'm glad she's got a good friend in you. I however, hope she continues blogging. I see a future for her being an online content writer- she's got a great presence and is likable as all get out. Sorry to know she got hate mail. I hope there is recovery from that- thick skin and talent go a long way. All the best, Bella Q

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  7. @Heather : Well, I'm glad you liked it! I'm definitely, probably, way TOO honest most days! I'm just not really concerned with being nice, nor am I ever hurt by people not liking me, so it leads to me being too nasty for most peeps. Thanks so much for sending me that e-mail! It'll be good to have it, so I can know exactly what I said, if anyone wants to take me to task for it.

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  8. @Bella : Thank you very much.

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